I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
