my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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