i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
