Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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