he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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