mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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