i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
