I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
only if we run a train.
done.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
