I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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