I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Randomize
