i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
