Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm always down for nudity.
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