We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
