it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
