well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
