She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
