another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
