Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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