I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
