I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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