I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
