And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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