dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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