I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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