so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize