so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
