I murdered the dance floor call the cops
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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