he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sorry about my life...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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