me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this boner is exhausting
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
