Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
