i already hear my dad disowning me
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
