k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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