I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
