I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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