Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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