I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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