cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
