Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize