At least make sure they are 18
Why
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He uses pillows to masturbate.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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