Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All the doctor said was why
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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