Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
