Nicole vs. Life
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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