erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
