ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
