did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
