i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
