I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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