found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
