i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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