So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel like a drive thru vagina
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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