Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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