Buhtt sex?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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