I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
they need to just BURY HIM!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you had me at cake vodka
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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