You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
