Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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