I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
