Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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