Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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