haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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