My room smells like vodka and shame
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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