The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So gin and wine won't be happening again
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
