Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
