we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
