Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
