You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
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